What is my motivation?

I think the best part of the journey for me is that I am entering a different and difficult routine than usual. For example, if I need physical and psychological therapy, I definitely feel like I have to go on a long bike ride. Entering a dozen different and more challenging routines than usual and having to do this routine takes me away from everything and makes me renewed. It makes you feel like watching many events and realities again in a theater seat and for example, setting up the tent every night, opening the sleeping bag, packing everything up again in the morning, and setting off. Such a routine gives me the freedom to be alienated from everything and to be able to look at events and situations from the outside.

As I leave El Chalten, I have in mind to go to the chile and reach out to Willa O'Higgins. I'm waiting for the last day of the last ferry, I want to be in the last seat in the last carriage of the last train. The "Lago de Desierto" lake, which I have to cross, is just waiting for me there. I drive almost 10 or 20 km a day to the place where the ferry departs. Of course, the events we plan will of course have problems, isn't the best part of the plans to predict the problems that will be experienced and to prepare accordingly?

When I arrive, I find out that the ferry has been canceled and the last ferry has been lifted. For me, this means that I have to cross the 12km trekking road with my bike. We are entering winter, rain and snow await me; I'm thinking about how I can make a 12 km trekking journey with my bike and its 65 kg load. I have 5 days' worth of food with me for this trip. So I have a limited amount of time. Sometimes I love such harsh conditions that keep me alive.

I think I can separate my bike and 9 separate bags and line up two or three bags for each kilometer and finish it in 5 days. I am sure that I can trek between 15 and 20km a day, and I have done this for 4 days without a break. I'm going to try it for the first time on a bike. From what I've read, no one recommends this trekking route by bike. I really wouldn't go in if I didn't have to do it out of necessity. Apparently I have to do 5 laps for each km because of the bags and the bike. 12 km of road turns into a total of 60 km of road for me. It's an experience I've had with a backpack before, I'm going to try it with a bike for the first time.

I can never be sure that I have gained enough experience about people's perspectives on competition. I can only say that what I have learned is that competing with people satisfies people, but when I compete with nature, I have learned by experience that I satisfy myself. When I lose myself to nature, I feel that I have rediscovered my limits rather than a deficiency in myself. When I compete with people, I have experienced that people, especially the congratulations of the large majority, lead me towards a life that they demand from me. The best example of this is our relationship with money. When I competed to make money, after a certain point, I felt imprisoned in a life where money ruled me. This makes me much more convinced that societal or social criteria are just a method to make me more controllable and manageable.

On this 12 km trekking journey, I am reacquainted with my physical and psychological limits. I cry and even remember saying "I'm not going to die here" many times. Maybe I'm in this situation not because the difficulty here is too high, but because I make the conditions as difficult as possible. At the end of the trek, I reach a hut belonging to the Argentine gendarmerie with my last strength. It doesn't make me very happy to meet a snowy, cold, and normally incredibly beautiful day with wet and icy clothes shivering. After a little acquaintance and conversation, the only thing I understood was that the border gate was closed due to weather conditions. Surprises, plans, and feelings. At that moment, all I want is for me to live long enough and I'm sure it's the best time to die. I'm just waiting to disappear, and while I'm seriously pushing my limits physically, and psychologically I'm sure I'm sinking to a dark and eternal bottom at the bottom of an ocean. The only option I am offered is to return the same way I came. This is almost impossible because I have neither food nor clothing. Being calm must be one of the most valuable behaviors I've learned in life. I need to calm down and wait. I need to rest and spend some time with myself. This is what happens for things to work out and for things to straighten out.

Maybe it's luck, maybe it's because someone always lends me a helping hand, but life offers you what you offer it. Just as I learned from my father to always offer free favors in life, life has always rewarded me with favors that will keep me on track. As I have always heard, goodness has goodness around it, and even if you suffer a thousand times under the dominion of evil and are sure of your loss many times, good thoughts, good feelings, and good feelings will come back to you with similar feelings, just like a flower blooming in the snow.